Okay………… So I live in Minnesota, and I get it. The weather sucks for half the year…… 9 months if Satan’s on his period, but a long time either way. I despise the cold, hate the driving, and detest the slop. I could almost deal with this, but the one thing that is driving me to the brink of insanity is the God-damn icy sidewalks. I succumb to the fact that I will have an annual wipeout. Every year it happens once. However, the snow fell on Wednesday and I gave in. I wiped out so hard core on the way back from painting class that my self portrait did a face plant and left a paint stamp in the snow. My spine crunched down to a height of 5’3″. I lost an inch. Ok, got it over with, right? Nope. The next day, right by the bus stop after working from 6 am till 3, the ice rears it’s ugly face from beneath the snow and sneakily steals away all my traction. I was actually air-born for a good half-second. Landed on spine/tailbone again, and crunched down to a petite 5’2″. This cannot happen again as my pathetic physique cannot take it. Thank God for Thanksgiving and the extra ‘pecan pie donk’. It probably saved my life. Anyways, that’s strike two and I really don’t want to play this game, but I’d rather not be out. So in conclusion, I’m either going to have to wear ice skates, learn to fly or just catapult myself to work to avoid my 3rd tumble in a week. Or….. I could just, ya know, learn to walk.